The last month I have had some enlightenment on my "friendships". People I assumed were my friends, even if we weren't super close, have appeared to be different then I first thought.
Ok, so I'm pretty weird and I worry a lot about having friends and not having friends and I really do my best to get people to like me. It's kind of pathetic. But I have the feeling I'm getting less and less pathetic. I care less I think. Some people don't like me. Big deal. Others do. So everything will be alright (I keep trying to convince myself).
In October I had a clash with people I used to call friends. I ended up losing a hand full of friends. No, not friends, fake friends. I'm actually glad this happened. I am really fond of the idea of truth. I want truth in my friendships. If you don't mean it gtfo. Ok, goodbye gossip asses. Idec.
Friday I hung out with another friend of mine "J". We go back pretty far (for me then, I can't seem to keep friends for long). But I feel very disappointed in her. As we went along talking and walking about I got the impression she is scared. Scared doing something new, scared of being different. I don't really want to hang out with some one like that. I'm also glad I found this out now.
It's like I like losing friends :s
No. I don't. But I like my friendships to be real. I can count the people I trust on one hand (Huimin, Xian, Valerie, Chris, Zak). I'm not saying these friendships are perfect, but they are worth it. Quality over quantity. Fuck popularity.
I completely and totally agree. I'd rather have a handful of people I can trust rather than a crowd of people I can't stand.
ReplyDeleteoh i know exactly what you mean. i've never understood people who have friends, just for... having loads of friends.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your comment on my blog! It was lovely, and I know that it's a cliché but it honestly made my day.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, the image on your blog header made me laugh.
And last but not least, I had THE SAME epiphany this year. For me it's like, hey, time is so scarce, why should I be investing it in people that are not just not worth it but not even fun for me? To have more friends? Pfffff. I chose my friends not the world of teenagerdom peer pressure. I'm really glad that you feel the same way, because in my experience, it's been very liberating and a helpful approach. (It doesn't mean that you have to be mean, pun not intended.) So, good luck with this!